Someone Who Cares
by madparty99
Summary: May set off triggers for some readers, read with discretion. Tom leaves and makes Liz attempts the unthinkable (suicide).


"Tom! Its Valentine's day, don't walk out! I am trying to make this work!" Liz yelled, tears pouring down her bright pink cheeks. She felt the effects of her job on her marriage, her and Tom were drifting apart. They were now no longer talking but fighting all the time. Liz felt her heart wither down from loneliness, sadness, she was brokenhearted. Tom was her first real love, first real relationship, and they were done. Nothing could fix this marriage, Tom spending more time with his colleagues, Liz working for the FBI and mainly as Red's 'girl' they couldn't find the time to work things out.

"I have a date, Liz. I have been cheating on you, but I suspect you already knew this." Liz nodded, she did and had for awhile but she was in denial. "I am leaving, you can take a week to move out, leave the dog." Tom walked out of the tiny house, and Liz collapsed to the kitchen floor.

Minutes after the fight ended with Tom walking out on her, telling her to leave. Liz stood up and grabbed a large kitchen knife, she carefully and quickly slid the knife along her right wrist, the deep red colored blood beginning to poor out of her skin, she moved it to her left wrist and slid the blade once again along her skin. Tears falling from her eyes, not from the pain from the cuts but from having no one left in her life who loves her. Tom and Sam was all she had, Sam died of Cancer and Tom left her for someone else. It came over her so quickly, she never pictured herself breaking down to the point where she tried killing herself. The blood loss was to much, the deep slits in her arms, going from her palm to her elbow on both sides, her body wasn't getting enough oxygen and the blood was steadily draining out of her. It was doing what she wanted; she passed out. She lay there on the kitchen floor dying.

Five minutes after Liz passed out, Red opened the door; Red knew the truth about Tom and knew he had a date. Red came to cheer her up, baring flowers, chocolate and wine. "Lizzie," he called as he was facing the door, shutting it. He turned around and saw her body, covered in blood, a knife beside her. He ran over to herside, not caring if his crazy expensive suit got blood on it, the only thing that matter to him, the only one he loves, tried to kill herself. Red felt the tears burn down his cheeks as he searched for a pulse. There was one there, faint but there. He picked her up and ran with her to his car, placing her along the backseat and climbng in the front to drive. He reached for his phone and dialed Dembe, "Dembe! Set up at the house for emergency stitches. I will be there in less than five." Red hung up and sped through out the traffic. He reached the house, got out of the car and ran to grab his lizzie, her limp and lifeless body hung in his arms. Dembe heard the sounds of a car pulling into the driveway and rushed to the door not knowing what had happen or to whom. He opened the door, his face dropped to she Liz covered in blood, her own blood, "What happened to Agent Keen?'

"Attempted suicide," Red laid her down onto the dining room table, where Dembe placed all of the Medical equipment. "Lizzie," Red began, telling Dembe what happened but more himself telling him that he failed, he let her down. "She slit her wrists after Tom left, I didn't protect her well enough. She hurt herself, something I didn't think she was capiable of, always surprising me." Emotion flooded Red, tears burned in the corners of his eyes, beads of sweat above his brow, a feeling of nausua came on.

During the time while Red spoke Dembe was clearing and prepairing the left wrist to be stitched back up, Red nodded at the man and begun on her right wrist. Together the men worked swiftly and adeptly to repair the self inflicted wounds to her arms. Once done Dembe excused himself to the bathroom to remove the dark red liquid his skin was covered in. Dembe knew the truth in Red's actions, Red loved and cared for this women more than anything else in the world, he would give up his life to have Liz live. Dembe knew Red needed Liz to live for himself to continue living, without her he had no reason to stay alive.

Red walked over to the kitchen and grabbed a bottle of pain medicine, took three small ovel pills and slid them down her throat. He reached his hand along her neck to try to find a pulse, it was stronger than before, her breathing improved, Liz was going to live. Red let ot a breath of air he didn't realize he had been holding.

Liz remained in a comatose like state for hours, in that time Red cleared all the blood from her skin, removed her blood covered clothing and put one of his undershirts on her. Red carried her and laid her down on the only bed, his bed. He knew she would be mad when she awoke, but didn't care, eventually she would thank him for saving her life.

Red sat in an armchair next to the bed, watching her health begin to increase. He saw her wriggle about in pain, and her eyes opening to see him.

Liz thought she died, her dreams seemed like heaven, and Red was by herside through them all. She had feelings, deep loving feelings, for Red. She buried them down deep inside of her, she was married and clearly unlike her husband, Liz had denyed herself to think about them. She piled on the reasons she should hate him, and found herslef doing just that, hating him. It was for the good, she does work for the FBI and he is a criminal, how could she make that work?

"Lizzie," Red was thrilled, she woke up

"Red?" Her voice was horse and dry. He sensed a different tone, but assumed that it was because of waking up after the trumatic event.

"Yes my dear?" He stood up and walked to the side of his bed, and placed a hand on her head, smoothing the brown hair.

Liz didn't want to deny it any longer, she tried killing herself because of her husband. Tom no longer ment anything to her and she didn't feel bad telling Red, "I love you." Her voice was limp, not because of hat she was saying but due to her loss of blood.

"My dear sweet Lizzie, I love you too." Red assumed that this was the lack of oxygen to her brain speaking, not coming with the truth. Red saw and felt the hate and anger she directed toward him, he knew what he was doing to her mentally, his hints toward her husbands actions, depriving her of sleep, the blacklist, killing her father. He was just as much a cause of her attempt as Tom was.

"Red, thank you, but I really wish you would have let me die." Liz was coming back into reality, she still wanted death to fall over her. Like a light dusting of snow, or the vail over a brides face, those things expressed joy, what would give her joy was death.

"No my dear, you don't want to die. This is what you want right now, but it is a forever choice, one that you may never change. I know you would regret it, if I didn't I would have left you there to die." Red knew he had made the right choice for her, she was not one for acting on her emotions. Everything she did she calculated the cause and effects before she jumped into things.

"I still do hate you, as much as I love you, there is a considerable amount of hatred lingering." Liz was in pain, and rightfully so. The physical pain was one she could hide like she was fine, the emotional pain was another. It changed the normally well prepared, thoughful women to the point of suicide as her last option. Tears swelled and begun to drip out of her eyes, her breathing was strained, and her face pail.

"What hurts? Your arms, or your heart?" Red was trying to help her, though not wanted.

"I am fine."

"No Lizzie, you are not. Tell me excatly what you are thinking."

"Okay Reddington. I am thinking that you are right, I was looking for the quick way out. Killing myself seemed like the perfect option, I get rid of all my problem in an instant, and I get to the promised land of heaven or possibly hell. Tom couldn't hurt me anymore if I died, I could see Sam again, my heart wouldn't want you so badly. Oh my god how much I adore you! But the adoration and affection I want from you comes with a price- my job, my morals, everything I worked so hard to create for myself. You are everything I am against, I want things in life to be black or white, but you, you are the gray. That's it." Tears stopped, breathing fixed back into it natural pattern, eyes locked onto his searching for answer from Red.

"Okay," Red sighed, and was taking in a breath before he continued.

"That's it! All you can say after I told you everything is Okay? God dammit Red!" She stood up and got out of bed, looking down at her new attire.

"Lizzie, I didn't finish." He quickly, but gentily pinned her to the wall, avoiding her arms. "You are going to faint, your body hasn't had enough time to replace all the blood you lost. Please sit down." Liz didn't move, didn't respond just looked at him.

'God, he is handsome.' She thought to herself. Her heart won out over her brain, once again in 24 hours. Her lips met his, and Red responded moving his lips over hers in clear desire. His brain kicked in, "Lizzie, this isn't what you really want right now. I know you better than you may think, you want the comfort of the kiss and what could happen after. Your brain isn't working like it so often does. Please lay back down."

She nodded and started walking back to his bed. Becoming quite lightheaded, everything in the room turned white and she felt the pull of gravity on her body, then heat. Red caught her before she came crashing into the floor. He lifted her onto the bed. "My dear, get rest and sleep. I will not leave your side, I don't know what you will try to do. I do want you to stay alive."

Liz closed her eyes, and fell into a pain ridden slumber. Red sat watching her sleep, saw her face twist in the pain of her arms, he wanted to help her but there was nothing he could do. She slept for another several hours, Red hadn't been watching the clock but knew it was late on the 15th. Liz awoke again, crying. "Red, I am so sorry! I was only thinking about myself not what would happen to those around me. I want you to love me. I know what I want, don't tell me I don't know because I do! I thought about what I would do without you, I would be a mess. I need you, I thought it was Tom, but you left for a long time and thats when I started to crumble, the day you left." Emotions flooding her, she sounded hysterical.

"There is my Lizzie, thinking with her brain, not her heart." Red smiled.

"We can't tell anyone, my job comes first, and always will." Liz felt better, she was herself. Her arms were incredibly painful, though.

"Yes, I believe the same thing. I will not change my ways because we are together. I will change my relationship status with my assoiciates however. You should tell restler to stop staring." Red laughed, and Liz laughed too. He made her feel better, emotionally and he had fixed her wounds. He cared for her and always would, that is what Liz needed to hear. If he came earlier last night she would have realized that there was someone who cared.


End file.
